Chapter 7(nineteen), Conclusion

Summary: This last chapter had Sales talking to groups of girls, and some boys, at various parties discussing mostly sex and what relationships have become. All of the kids reminisced about an era they never experienced claiming they wished dating was more like it was “back in the day”. Meaning they wanted to go on dates, something none of them had experienced in years, and form an actual relationship with someone, not just having sex. However none of these teens took any steps to make any of their relationships what they wanted. Some even were the quintessential teen in hookup culture, going from partner to partner, bragging, and not seeming to care at all. Many of the girls also complained about how unsatisfactory sex is for them, and the way in which men disregard women’s pleasures in sex and solely focus on their own. As all of these teens are now in college they also recall their new experiences with rape culture which seems to heighten in University settings. Sales describes the numerous cases of horrific gang rapes on campuses, most while the girl is unconscious. But this was all common place among these teens as they describe the new terms used to describe sex that is essential gang rape, and how ordinary this is, occurring at a large percentage of parties. Sales then writes a final conclusion and reflects back on insights she made in the introduction. She mentions the “hot or not’ attitude predominate in social media, that has consequently infected the mindsets of boys and girls all over.  She also touches back on the Silicone Valley atmosphere of rich white men perpetrating these ideals in order to make more money, seeing as it doesn’t affect them if teenage girls start hating themselves, as long as they make a profit. Sales proposes a solution, having more women in the top levels of Silicone Valley businesses. While continuing these deep reflection, Sales reconnected with her ninth grade boyfriend who seemed to also share her views. He too sees porn as creating a mindset in boys, at extremely young ages, that women are to be dis-empowered and dominated over, and as these boys grow older they see women simply as sexual objects there only for their pleasure.

Passages:

Sales talks to many teen girls about “fuck boys” and seems to find the living definition in Ethan who continually brags about his number of sexual partners, while degrading women for having any, and treats all the girls he sees at parties without a sliver of respect. Although later it is revealed that Ethan also desires a real connection in a relationship, in this passage Ethan depicts women in an extremely harsh and crude tone.

“I wanna believe in y’all’s species, your race,,” Ethan said, referring to women,”but I can’t right now. I’d have to scan this room, but i’d have to say like forty-five to sixty-five percent of them are thots…I don’t like to disrespect women, but it’s necessary.” pg 356

Another insight into the teenage boy’s mind Sales gets is again from Ethan as he describes his motives for cheating.

“…you can have the main course and some appetizers, too.” pg 360

And as Sales concludes her book she creates an image of the life of a girl growing up in this age through the numerous stories she and experiences she heard as she traveled the country talking to young girls.

“Being a teenager has never been easy. Faces and bodies are changing, hormones raging, emotions all over the place. Imagine adding to that a constant pressure to take pictures of yourself and look “hot” in those pictures and have people like them. Imagine getting a dick pic from a boy, maybe before you’ve ever held a boys hand. Or being asked for nudes at a time when you’re just trying to feel comfortable in your own changing body, and not always succeeding. Imagine developing a crush on someone, who seems to like you back, only to find out that he’s been “talking” to other girls, online, even at the same time you thought you were having an intimate conversation.” pg 371

Word Mastery: 

Sales’ use of teenager jargon has helped the entire book seem extremely relatable, and proves the common-place of all of these often shocking mindsets and actions.

DTF(adj)- an acronym meaning, “down to fuck”, as in someone is open to sex pg 323

Guys Girl(adj)- the opposite of a girlie girl, a guys girl is a description for someone who acts like a tomboy and is welcomed into male friend groups, but still likes to focus on makeup and clothes pg 336

Rape Culture(n)-the type of culture which promotes victim blaming and typically allows or even advertises rape or molestation pg 340

Twatching(v)-couples (usually recently broken up) constantly watching what the other person posts on social media, the one posting usually tries to make the other jealous or fights with them pg 349

Women Crush Wednesday(n)- a post a guy in a heterosexual relationship will make on Wednesdays to talk about his relationship or girlfriend, often tagged with #wcw, it’s opposite Man Crush Monday is essentially the same thing but done by girls on Mondays pg 349

Thots(n)- a derogatory term  associated with women who are seen as “too” sexual, “that ho over there” pg 356

V-card(n)- a person will say someone still has their “V-card” if they are still  a virgin pg 359

Connections:

Sales briefly discusses the ordinary situation on college campuses of young women being gang raped, often with the victim not reporting it. A case that matches this very similarly is of Vanderbilt where an unconscious student was gang raped by other students (the only one prosecuted so far was a football player) and the rapists recorded and photographed their actions. The only student prosecuted in relation to the case so far is Cory Batey who also urinated on the victims face after raping her. Batey will serve the minimum of fifteen years, but the judge says he is still facing a facing a lifetime sentence as he will always be a registered sex offender. But as the article points out, the victim will also have a lifetime sentence as she must cope with this trauma. More information here.

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Chapter 7(nineteen), Conclusion

  1. I learn something new every time I read your blog, in this case, the Vanderbilt case. It’s disgusting to think this is something so common in American colleges. Cudos to the author and to you to revealing the painful truths to today’s societal flaws.

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  2. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and well-written blog. It is an honor to have my book discussed and truly inspiring to see it reach the world of teens. For anyone who might see this and not have a copy of the book, it comes out in paperback in January with s cool new cover that I really like. It’s already available on Amazon. Thank you again for your thinking and writing about these new and challenging issues. Nancy Jo Sales

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